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Don't Play the Blame Game..       (May 2017 Blog Entry)

If you respond to any situation by saying, “This shouldn’t be happening,” you will experience anger, anxiety, despair, and hopelessness, which are significantly worse than the situation itself.

Did you catch that? The situation isn’t the problem; it’s thinking “This shouldn’t be happening” that propels you from a less-than-ideal situation all the way to devastation, victim mentality, and questions like, “Why me?”

Our response to stimuli is what causes our suffering, which is good to know because even though pain is usually out of our control, choosing not to suffer IS an option. I mean, you already know that circumstances in life won’t always be ideal, comfortable, or convenient. In fact, haven’t you been witnessing them fluctuate from the seemingly unbearable to incredible, joyous, painful, awesome, devastating, and so on?

We have a choice: we can either resist each change (which leads to a life-long struggle with everything and everyone around us), OR we can gently navigate through all the inevitable twists and turns. And that’s the first secret to doing it skillfully: acknowledge that twists and turns are inevitable. Don’t kid yourself by thinking it’s going to be smooth sailing from now on. It won’t be. There will ALWAYS be something or someone testing your patience. So you can finally learn what they are trying to teach you (to be patient), or you can keep blaming people, presidents, or other drivers on the road for your emotional state (which will cost you your mental and physical health, but hey.. at least your story will have a “bad guy” in it).

Other people aren’t the problem. Heck, there is also nothing wrong with Mondays, wrinkles, stretch marks, driving 55mph, or not getting everything we want all the time. The problem is our attitude towards these things. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting we become numb or witness what we think is unjust in the world and do nothing about it; I’m urging you to consider how much more you can accomplish toward your goal when you, yourself, are not disturbing your inner peace. When you, yourself, remain calm and collected. There are over seven billion people in the world, don’t let just one ruin your day! (And don’t let that one person be you).

We’ve all been lied-to, cheated-on, overworked, underpaid, wronged, misunderstood, and under-appreciated, yet we’re still here. We are not broken. We can even be wronged again and still keep going. So don’t identify as a victim; you’re a soldier of peace in the army of love. Now go out there and promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate. Be grateful for everything you have in your life instead of whining about what you don’t. You have enough. We all do. And if you have more than enough, share.

With much love from your brother,
Timber Hawkeye.



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